I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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