the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize