I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize