Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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