would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
