Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
