whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
