this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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