everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
A+ Viking dick
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
