Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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