Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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