ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
