Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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