i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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