Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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