I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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