I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
