is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
