Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
