I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
