I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize