Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
