I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
