if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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