Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I will be naked everywhere
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the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize