The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
