i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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