Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
