we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
