Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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