everyone is single if you try hard enough
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
