im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
