i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
home. puking in laundry basket.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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