That's when you crack a 10am beer
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
the raccoons are back...
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