I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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