yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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