i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
