4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
