i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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