absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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