yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
