HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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