I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
