Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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