I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
