How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
