and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
