I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
