Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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