At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
