I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
