i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
