Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
