quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
