In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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