When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
